


Petrified Dinosaur Droppings & Dirty Bathwater

by irenegerke



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ashura isn't crazy yet he still manages to be a jerk, Emotional Abuse, Fuuma and Kamui both make appearances, I cherry-picked cannon and made a pie, I took what was supposed to be a romcom and added CLAMP typical angst, I'm sure I should add more tags, KuroFai Olympics, Kurogane's language, Multi, Unbeta'd, abusive relatives, but I can't think of them right now, but never interact, minor character death (off-screen), spoilers for Fai's past, they are going at it like kinky rabbits off-screen, threatened violence against animals, various CLAMP characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 22:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20299060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irenegerke/pseuds/irenegerke
Summary: Managing a coffee shop that catered to the wealthy, the only ones able to afford the drink in space, wasn't what Kurogane would call enjoyable. Add an idiot blond, weasels, and asshole customers into the mix and it was a testament to his restraint that he hadn't murdered anyone.





	Petrified Dinosaur Droppings & Dirty Bathwater

**This fic was written for the kurofai Olympics on Dreamwidth. After you finish reading please go here: <https://kurofai.dreamwidth.org/122260.html> and cast your vote for this story and the other works written for the contest. Voting ends September 30th, 2019. **

**Thank you**

****

Kurogane glared apprehensively at the small cryogenic containers that were stacked in front of Clow Beans’ main entrance. The Station’s night cycle was an hour from ending and he was caught between a desire to hit something, preferably the shop’s eccentric owner, or to go back to bed and reflect on his poor life choices that had led him to agreeing to manage Yuuko’s shop.

Fuuma, Clow’s resident Roaster, strolled off the lift and blinked groggily at the containers. He took a slow drink of from his cup, that Kurogane doubted contained a Station approved drink, “Huh,” he commented pausing by Kurogane. The dark-haired man shared Kurogane’s height, though Kurogane was broader through his shoulders. Both men, like the majority of the Station’s residents, were originally from stations established by the East Asia Coalition centuries earlier and their shared ancestry was reflected in their features. Their dark hair was cut short on the sides and whereas Kurogane’s hair was shaped into soft spikes on top, Fuuma’s brushed his eyes in long layers. Fuuma’s eyes were a deceptively friendly-looking brown that had lolled more than one person to underestimate the nineteen-year-old.

Kurogane’s own eyes were a rich red wine color that hinted at his more uncommon lineage that he narrowed to glare at his Roaster. Before he could respond Fuuma shrugged, “Not it,” he said mildly and continued his stroll into the shop.

“Asshole,” Kurogane perfunctorily replied.

There was nothing for it he was going to have to deal with the containers and whatever outlandish new plants Yuuko had sent. Hopefully, the environmental requirements wouldn’t be too extreme. He didn’t want the hassle of purchasing and attaching yet another permanent ship to the sprawling station just to grow a few bushes.

“Kuro-rin,” Fai called cheerfully as he skipped out of the lift.

Kurogane gave a low growl ignoring the idiot’s current butchering of his name. “Oh, dear,” Fai murmured stopping in front of the containers one of his arms crossing his chest so his hand could cradle his other elbow, his free hand tapping his chin with long elegant fingers thoughtfully. Giving a heavy sigh Fai pushed his light blond hair that had escaped his colorful barrettes from his eyes.

Eyeing the slightly shorter man Kurogane grunted his agreement. Absently noting that Fai’s hair was nearly long enough to be pulled back and that he should purchase the fool some new hair ties.

“Since you’re standing here looking like one of the Mokonas drank the last of the alcohol I assume you weren’t expecting a delivery?”, Fai more stated than asked. He circled the containers much the same way Kurogane had earlier. Stopping next to Kurogane his lips set in a thoughtful frown.

“I don’t think these are plants,” he told Kurogane cautiously the tension in his lean athletic body rising as he continued to study the innocuous-looking containers.

“Another of the Witch’s surprise projects,” Kurogane stated his voice a deep rumble that evoked visions of gravel worn smooth by water. “Come on let’s get these inside,” He ordered lifting two of stacked containers, leaving the remaining two for Fai.

Kurogane was pleased to see that Fuuma or perhaps Watanuki had cleared a temporary space in the front of the shop so the containers could be opened without risking the cleanliness of the kitchen or brewing area. They had learned that lesson the hard way when a container’s cryogenic process had critically failed during transport and the resulting pressure from gas created by decaying produce caused an explosion of rotting plants and soil when they had opened it.

Watanuki poked his head out of the kitchen long enough to inform Kurogane that the white Mokona had a call from Yuuko for him.

Kurogane nodded as he laid the containers in a neat row. The shop’s spacious seating area was interspersed with large comfortably upholstered chairs and small couches arranged around simple synthetic wood tables. The area furthest from the main entrance held a few booths that offered greater privacy and led to several rooms reserved for those wanting further confidentiality for their meetings. Throughout the main room were shelves containing rare physical books from a myriad of genres and art pieces collected by the staff and Yuuko. On one wall was a holographic stone fireplace reminiscent of popular Terra architecture. The counter and brewing area took up an entire wall and the doors to the kitchen were located behind the counter. The display case that ran along the counter contained a variety of breads and baked goods that were a specialty of the shop.

Fai set his containers alongside Kurogane’s before hurrying to the kitchen to begin his morning prep. Fuuma was already at the roasting station checking the beans that he had set to roast after closing the previous night and readying that day’s beans. The smell of baking bread and roasting coffee permeated the shop. While it would be several hours before the shop opened in the late afternoon the scents would remain throughout the day as fresh food and coffee were made to meet the customers’ demands.

Leaving the containers Kurogane stomped off to find the white Mokona, who was undoubtedly hiding somewhere in the kitchen with the black Mokona so they could steal treats whenever Watanuki was distracted.

The kitchen was as large as the customer seating area and was the domain of Clow’s chef, Watanuki, who despite being a bit high strung at times ran the kitchen with an efficiency any ship captain would envy. Gleaming stainless-steel appliances, cream-colored synth granite tabletops, and more richly colored synth wood cabinets filled the room somehow giving the space a warm inviting aura despite the commercial nature of the kitchen. The employees’ break area and Kurogane’s office area took up one corner of the kitchen’s space.

Watanuki and Fai were huddled over one of the kitchen’s stoves discussing their newest recipe, a stew of some sort Kurogane guessed from the meat and vegetables laid out.

“Manju-bun,” Kurogane yelled when he entered the kitchen.

Mokona leapt down from a shelf and bounced over to Kurogane, a spot of chocolate staining their white fur, “Kuro-chan is so loud,” they sang.

Kurogane crossed his arms and scowled at the small oval creature. Both Mokonas were creatures of unknown origin. They had been fixtures in the shop and on the station for as long as Yuuko. They resembled nothing Kurogane had seen before with their long rabbit-like ears, gems attached to their foreheads the white Soel’s red and black Larg’s blue, their stubby paws should have been vestigial but were surprisingly nimble, and oversized feet that appeared to be just stuck onto the bottom of their bodies with no regard to any rational physiology. Each was covered in soft fur and could out eat and drink everyone in the shop. Soel acted as a messenger for Yuuko and instantaneous psychic translator for the shop. Larg could create mouse-sized simulacrums of itself that it sent all over the station to gather information. Kurogane wasn’t sure, but he suspected that every ship that left the station did so with at least one of the simulacra secretly onboard.

“What does the witch want,” Kurogane demanded.

“It's a surprise," the creature teased, “Yuuko said to wait until after you opened the presents.”

Kurogane reached for the mutated rabbit but froze when a smiling Sakura and Tomoyo entered the kitchen. The teenagers were either cousins or close friends, Kurogane didn’t care enough to figure out which. Sakura’s short strawberry blonde hair framed her doe-like green eyes, the petite girl giggling sweetly at something Tomoyo whispered. Tomoyo’s long black hair was covered by yet another new hat, the dark-eyed girl’s stylish fashion sense on display with both her and Sakura’s outfits. Tomoyo glanced at Kurogane a wicked glint in her eye as she whispered to Sakura. Sakura blushed prettily at whatever was said. Tomoyo’s happy laugh automatically made Kurogane tense sure the delicate girl was plotting something that would cause him a headache.

“Kurogane you aren’t bullying Mokona are you,” Tomoyo questioned with a raised eyebrow daring him to follow through with the threat he was broadcasting.

“Shut up,” he snapped.

Fai looked up from the stove to take in the scene. “Now, Daddy that is no way to talk to the children,” he scolded.

“Don’t start that crap at work,” Kurogane told Fai frowning as he noticed that Mokona had escaped to Sakura’s arms.

Sakura and Tomoyo well used to Kurogane’s gruff manner ignored his order and greeted to other two men.

“Maru and Moro will be here this afternoon. They’re helping Yuuko with something,” Tomoyo reminded Watanuki. Maru and Moro were twin girls who worked in the kitchen with Watanuki and Syaoran, who handled the cleaning and washing.

“Thank you for coming in early to help,” Watanuki told Tomoyo and Sakura pausing in his cooking long enough to greet them.

“Are those containers from Yuuko,” Sakura asked.

“Yes,” Mokona answered, “They’re a surprise for Kurogane.”

“I don’t want a surprise from that witch,” Kurogane grouched.

Fai glided over to Kurogane giving the larger man a push toward the front of the shop, “Now Kuro-pin you’re just delaying the inevitable.”

“Fine,” Kurogane smirked grabbing Fai to drag him along. Sakura trailing curiously after them.

Syaoran was out front contemplating the containers that were doing a remarkable job of disrupting the day simply by their presence. The boy was the same age as Sakura and devoted to the girl. His light brown hair was slightly overgrown from his basic short cut, his features and build promising that when he finished growing into himself that he would be remarkably handsome. Syaoran knelt to examine one of the container's displays more closely, his heterochromia eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “I don’t think these are plants,” he told Kurogane.

“That’s what I said,” Fai happily pointed out.

“Well shit,” Kurogane said with the tone of a man who knows he’s about to do something unpleasant and possibly humiliating.

Fai rolled his eyes at his companion and bent down to start the opening sequence on the nearest container. Mirroring him the others activated the remaining containers. With a soft beep the first container’s lock released, and Fai stepped back with a flourish for Kurogane to open it.

Kurogane lifted the lid of the container with the toe of his boot. Inside was a small black and gray…

“Is it a cat?” Sakura wondered.

Syaoran shook his head, “I think it’s a weasel."

The animal was about the size of a cat and a long tail was wrapped around its sleeping body. The animal had dark, nearly black, gray short coarse fur with black spots along its side. Its face was black with a white mask of fur around the eyes and white spots by its nose.

“What the fuck,” Kurogane exclaimed, “Manju,” He yelled.

Mokona hopped over the counter to land on Syaoran’s shoulder. “It’s an Asian Palm Civet. It makes coffee,” Mokona informed them.

“Hmmm,” Fai grimaced, “I think I read about these.”

Fuuma had wandered over to peer at the sleeping animal, “Still not it,” he stated firmly before going back to work.

Sakura gave the animal a pet as it stirred and stretched inside the container. It nuzzled her hand briefly, giving a large yawn, and going back to sleep.

“Did Yuuko leave a message,” Fai asked as he opened the remaining three containers revealing they also held Palm Civets.

Mokona’s gem glowed and they displayed a hologram of Yuuko, the woman’s svelte body stretched out on a chaise lounge, her ample breasts barely contained by her kimono. Her long black hair fell down her side and back and she held a long thin stemmed pipe in one hand the smoke wreathing her.

“How are my darling employees,” she asked her voice like silk and holding secrets in its every intonation.

“We’re good,” Sakura answered before Kurogane could snap at the shop’s owner.

“Yuuko are these for Kopi luwak,” Fai asked.

“That’s right,” Yuuko exclaimed happily, “Brains and beauty. Kurogane you shouldn’t delay too long or someone will come along and steal him.”

“The fuck does that mean,” Kurogane snarled, “Never mind. Why are there weasels in my shop?”

“Oh, they were a popular pet at one time. But I’ve gifted them to you for a different purpose. Though I suppose they would make good mascots for the shop. I’m sure the customers will love them, she said.

Kurogane frowned, “We have the Mokonas for that. What am I supposed to do with them?”

Yuuko gave an airy wave, “Pish, the Mokonas are important employees. These sleeping little beauties are the key to Kopi luwak. They are easy to take care of, they’re already litter trained. Just feed them a few coffee cherries every day and collect the beans after they are excreted.”

Fuuma who had been listening in as he worked whipped around, “Excreted,” he exclaimed, “You mean you want someone to collect the beans from their shit?”

“Oh, come now,” Yuuko said breezily, “None of you are so delicate that you can’t handle something so simple.”

Kurogane rubbed the bridge of his nose, “You want us to gather the beans after they’ve been shat out and I assume roast them for coffee?”

“Exactly,” Yuuko said happily.

Fai’s features had taken a greenish cast, “And people are going to drink this?”

Sakura and Syaoran had retreated to the kitchen to inform Watanuki and Tomoyo of what had happened and Watanuki careened out of the kitchen his eyes narrowed and face furious. The lanky young man flailed his arms in outrage, his short black hair in disarray, and his glasses threatening to fall from his wildly contorted face. “No, no, no,” he yelled.

“Oh, Watanuki don’t be so dramatic,” Yuuko advised him calmly, “You don’t want to frighten the poor Civets.”

Watanuki ignored Yuuko in favor of continuing his tirade against anything made from anything that had been defecated. His yelling and ferociously waving arms startled the closest Civet that had been cautiously sniffing the air outside of its container. The animal turned and lifted its tail with a growl.

“Uh,” Fai started to warn them when the small animal sprayed a foul-smelling liquid in Kurogane and Watanuki’s direction. The noxious liquid hitting Kurogane and the surrounding floor Fai having dodged the spray and Watanuki sheltered by Kurogane.

Fai who had already been looking nauseous rushed out of the room and Kurogane could hear him vomiting in the kitchen. Watanuki froze his gaze swinging from Kurogane to the animal.

“I’ll just,” he said quietly gesturing toward the kitchen and backing away.

Kurogane started to take a deep breath to yell at Yuuko, but he choked on the stench. “What are these things?”, he wheezed. His eyes watering.

Mokona made a whining noise, “It smells bad,” they complained miserably.

“There are care instructions inside one of the containers,” Yuuko said calmly.

Kurogane quickly snatched the papers from the container scanning them he gaped at Yuuko, “You’ve sent me weasel raccoon skunk things and expect me to keep them in the shop?

“Well, yes dear. They’re very rare animals now and the coffee made from the beans is a treat of the rarest quality. Our customers will love it,” she explained, “besides these little ones are brighter than their predecessors and that should make them easier to care for.”

Kurogane wanted to deny it, but as he continued to scan through the history of the animal and the drink he couldn’t. The guests who came to Clow Beans were inevitably wealthy and influential. The deals struck in the shop had ramifications for stations, colonies, and ships throughout known space. Coffee, unlike alcohol which could be made anywhere, was near impossible to get outside of distant Terra. Their station had been established by Yuuko and her deceased partner, Clow Reed, with the idea that they would create a neutral location for the various factions of space to meet and to exchange information. How that evolved into a shop dedicated to the growing and making of coffee Kurogane wasn’t sure. While Clow’s Beans served the elite of space, the station maintained various other shops and locations frequented by all levels of society. The primary product of the station and its extensive permanent ships was exotic fruits and vegetables; however, it was also the sole grower of coffee beans. The plants kept in an array of controlled environments that helped develop their numerous flavors. Their customers would eat the story of the beans up and having the damn animals in the shop would only add to the appeal.

The smell was slowly dissipating though Kurogane would need to shower and maybe burn his clothes to rid himself of the stink. A glance around the shop showed that he was alone, the others having fled to the kitchen. “Fine,” he conceded, “I’ll give them a try, but if they become too much trouble, I’m sending them home with Maru and Moro for you to deal with.”

Yuuko gave him a satisfied smirk before the hologram disappeared.

Gripping the papers Kurogane stalked into to kitchen and handed them off to Fai, “I need to bathe,” he stated flatly when Fai recoiled from the smell and hurried to the other side of the room.

Waving his hand in front of his face Fai grimaced, “I’d offer to wash your back, but I think Kuro-min needs to handle this one on your own.”

“I can wash my own damn back,” he growled ignoring Tomoyo’s snickers.

“Here,” Watanuki said shoving a jar at Kurogane, “this will neutralize the smell.”

Kurogane gave the mixture a sniff and raised a questioning eyebrow. Watanuki rolled his eyes, “Dish soap, baking soda, and hydrogen peroxide,” he listed off the ingredients.

“Get those things settled,” he ordered Fai, “and for fuck's sake don’t scare them again. We’ll need to figure something out to keep them from spraying the first idiot customer who decides it would be a great idea to pick one up.”

“I can ask Subaru if Seishiro can come and look at them,” Syaoran offered helpfully.

Kurogane nodded his permission before narrowing his eyes, “Make sure Subaru stays behind or send him back here with Watanuki. I don’t want to deal with their exhibitionism.”

“Prude,” Fuuma whispered none too quietly under their breath.

Fai leered at Kurogane batting his eyes flirtatiously from across the room, “You know I bet Kuro-sama has all sorts of hidden kinks.”

Kurogane gave Fai a bland look, “Keep it up and I’ll spank you,” he told Fai dryly.

Fai’s eyes darkened slightly, before he covered his expression with another coquettish look, “Oh, Daddy,” he exclaimed miming a faint.

Kurogane snorted as he turned on his heel to leave. Tomoyo and Sakura’s giggles following him from the room.

***

Two weeks passed without incident; three of the Civets had been sent to one of the large coffee bean farming ships. While the fourth, the same one who had sprayed Kurogane, had been dubbed Rose by Fai and lived in the shop. Sakura’s brother, Touya, and his husband, Yukito, had built climbing posts that resembled trees whose branches connected to form a canopy near the ceiling over the seating area in front of the fireplace. Fai insisted it made the area cozy, but Kurogane complained that it was just more for them to clean. As for Rose, she adapted well to her new position as shop mascot. Sleeping through the day and happily begging pets and treats from the guest as she scurried all over her climbing trees. Kurogane had even managed to hire the daughter of one of the environmental control managers to gather the beans after they were “excreted” by the Civets in their litter pans. Misaki was a bright young girl who delighted in the antics of the three civets living in the fields and would tell Sakura about their activities when she delivered the beans she had collected at the end of the week.

Satisfied that the Civets were causing little trouble Kurogane ignored Misaki’s stories and focused on locating a second smaller roaster. Despite the beans being cleaned Fuuma refused to roast them in the same machine they used currently. Though it would be a while before they had enough to for a decently sized batch.

Not paying attention the Misaki’s stories was Kurogane’s second mistake. His first was not reading all the information Yuuko had provided on the Asian Palm Civets behavior beyond his first cursory look. Fai and Sakura shared the duty of caring for Rose. Which lead to Kurogane’s most significant mistake. He forgot about Yuuko’s comment regarding the Civets being smarter than usual and didn’t share that information.

He arrived at the shop one morning to find the shop wrecked. During the few hours, it had been closed and empty Rose had managed to get the display case open scattering partially eaten bread and pastries throughout the front of the shop.

“What the fuck happened,” Kurogane rhetorically questioned the Mokonas who had accompanied him to work. “Go find Watanuki and Doumeki. I’m going to find that fucking rat and kill it,” he snarled.

“Faiiii,” the white Mokona whined at the man who had frozen at the entrance of the stop, “Kurogane is going to eat Rose.”

“I said I’m going to kill it, not eat it,” Kurogane said; the threat growled from behind clenched teeth. Spotting the small Civet looking out from one of the holes in the animal’s favorite climbing tree Kurogane launched himself across the room intent on making the threat reality.

Fai gaped at the mess, which was becoming worse as Kurogane chased Rose, the food already scattered being trampled further by the irate man and furniture toppling in his pursuit. Rose fled to the blond hiding behind Fai’s legs.

Kurogane who had jumped at the animal crashed into Fai sending the two of them crashing to the floor in a tangle of limbs.

Fai gave a pained, “ufff.”

“Kuro-tan,” he wheezed from beneath Kurogane’s bulk, “this isn’t how I wanted to be under you.”

Ignoring Fai, Kurogane tried to grab the Civet that dodged him and ran back to her hidey-hole. He was positive the animal was laughing at him.

The remainder of the morning was taken up by cleaning and placating Watanuki, who Kurogane thought was going to lose his damn mind when he rushed into the shop with a stoic Doumeki trailing behind.

Luckily, Watanuki had enough food prepped to replace the damaged stock and Doumeki’s presence was enough to soothe Watanuki by giving the high-strung chef someone to rant at.

The day wore on with the unpleasant announcement by Kamui, who provided security for the shop, that Hagen’s ship had been cleared to dock.

Kurogane loathed the older man. Hagen was a respected and influential captain, but Kurogane hadn’t forgiven him for allowing Fai to believe the biological disaster that killed his parents was his fault. The captain’s occasional visits always left the blond emotionally exhausted and out of sorts for days. But desperate for news of his brother who had been left in a near vegetative state by the same accident that killed their parents Fai couldn’t break ties with him.

Normally Kurogane would send Fai to Amaterasu’s store that specialized in exotic teas whenever Hagen docked to reduce the time Hagen would have to continue his subtle and sometimes blatant manipulations. However, the morning’s mayhem meant Fai was needed in the shop.

“Okay,” Kurogane growled unhappily, “have Subaru come in tonight to help with security. If Hagen is here the other shipping guilds captains won’t be far behind.”

“Seishiro won’t be happy about that. He had plans for Subaru tonight,” Kamui advised Kurogane.

“Fuck. Tell Seishiro I’ll owe him,” Kurogane said one hand rubbing at his temple irritably.

Kamui cocked an eyebrow and shrugged, “I didn’t take you for a masochist.”

Kurogane flung one of his numerous foam balls, that Tomoyo insisted would reduce his stress, at the dainty looking man. Kamui and his older brother, Subaru, looked deceptively delicate. Their small thin build and somewhat androgynous features fooled more than one person who thought they could bully the siblings into submission. Individually they could give Kurogane a run for his money in a fight, together, he doubted anyone could beat them.

“I can’t deal with assholes today. You know as well as I do Hagen will show up if for no other reason than to fuck with Fai,” Kurogane explained.

A soft chirp from Kamui’s security pad stopped his response, a crease forming between his eyes, “Fei Wong and Eriol each requested clearances from the station to dock and Ashura is waiting to dock.”

“Fucking shit bastard,” Kurogane cursed.

Fai sashayed into the kitchen as Kurogane continued his increasingly more inventive cursing.

“…goat sucking snake fucker,” Kurogane ranted.

“That shouldn’t make sense,” Fai told Kurogane, “And I’m concerned about myself that it does.”

“What has my Kuro-pui in an even fouler mood,” he asked.

“Get Subaru here and see if Seishiro will help out. I’ll call Touya and Yukito and ask them to work behind the counter so Fuuma can help with security and this idiot,” he said waving at Fai, “can work the floor with Sakura and Tomoyo. Maybe I can get Misaki to bus tables,” he muttered already planning how to handle the influx of customers and increased need for security. The additional security would be needed as the heads of the four most powerful shipping factions gathered on the station.

Fai frowned at Kurogane, “Whose here?”

“Fei Wong, Eriol, Ashura, and that used dick bag, Hagen,” he answered.

Kamui departed without a word and Fai flopped into a chair by Kurogane’s desk, “Do you want me to ask if Souma would be willing to help?”

“No. Yes,” Kurogane said abruptly changing his mind, “Ask her if she would come in at close to help clean up. Take the kid with you,” he told Fai.

Fai’s default smile faded, “I don’t think it’s necessary for both of us to go. We need at least one of us here to help prep,” he told Kurogane.

“Hagen’s ship is probably done docking and I don’t want you running around alone. You know as well as I do that, he’ll have ordered his crew to keep an eye out for you. If you’re with the kid I don’t have to worry some overzealous crew members will grab you to deliver you to him on his ship,” Kurogane explained pinning Fai in his seat with a firm look that challenged Fai to deny his concerns.

“That only happened once,” Fai said.

“Twice,” Maru and Moro chimed from the table where they were braiding sugar and cinnamon filled dough.

“I thought it was more,” Watanuki mused.

“Three times,” Doumeki confirmed, “The last time Sakura and Syaoran stopped them before they reached the ship.”

Kurogane leaned back in his chair arms crossed smirking his point made, “Take the kid. If it was anyone else, you’d kick their ass, but that asshole has some fucked-up hold on you and you’ll go if he requests it,” Kurogane said his voice heavy with frustration and concern.

“Fine,” Fai grumbled, “you know Kuro-min is sweet to worry,” he purred over his shoulder as he left to find Syaoran.

“Idiot,” Kurogane said automatically.

***

The rest of the morning and early afternoon passed without additional problems or surprises. Fei Wong reserving one of the private rooms for the evening. Fuuma and Seishiro bracketed the outside of the shop’s entrance keeping an eye on the crowd of gawkers that filled the wide corridors that converged on the shop. Kamui and Subaru silently and nearly invisibly moved through the shop smoothly ushering out customers that would have lingered in hopes of catching the eye and ear of one of the captains that would be arriving soon.

Kurogane spotted the dark-furred weasel scurrying through the branches of her climbing trees but didn’t have an opportunity to catch her that wouldn’t involve property damage.

Fai flited around the stop helping Sakura and Tomoyo effortlessly. The idiot appearing unconcerned about his grandfather’s imminent arrival. Though Kurogane noted the way Fai tensed briefly whenever a new group of customers entered. Kurogane divided his time between helping behind the counter and watching Fai.

“I’d be happy to dispose of him,” Seishiro said quietly over the small two-way mic that all security and Kurogane wore to stay in contact.

Kurogane shook his head even though the other man couldn’t see him, “The idiot cares about the asshole and his death would create a power vacuum.”

“The offer stands,” Seishiro said unconcerned about the potential chaos.

“Stop offering to murder people,” Subaru snapped over the channel.

“Our playtime was interrupted, and I have nothing else to keep me entertained,” Seishiro responded affably.

“Focus,” Kurogane ordered after handing a man dressed in an expensive evening suit his drink and sandwich.

***

“Heads up,” Fuuma said finally a few hours later, “Eriol and Hagen are here.”

Kurogane relaxed slightly at the news that Eriol had arrived with Hagen; the young captain would keep Hagen occupied. Kurogane ducked into the kitchen to signal Syaoran to switch places with Fai. Rose using Kurogane’s distraction as an opportunity to steal a meat pie from the display case dragging the tin across the floor and under Kurogane’s feet causing the large man to trip. His quick reflexes kept him from dashing his face into the roaster, but not from stepping on the pie.

“Damn it. I’m going to skin you,” Kurogane cursed Rose ignoring several customers’ frowns at his language and the chuckles of others.

Fai scooped up the Civet and hurried into the kitchen with a relieved smile cast in Kurogane’s direction just before Hagen entered the shop his commanding presence drawing the eye of everyone in the room.

Hagen’s expression was set in a neutral smile that Kurogane hated almost as much as he hated the same look on Fai. Striking, Hagen held himself like a king surveying his kingdom. The man’s white hair extended down to his lower back and his full bread hid much of his face. Hagen was an imposing man nearly as tall as Kurogane he had greater muscle mass and casually expected strict obedience from his crew. Kurogane didn’t know why the man always sought Fai out when he docked when he made no secret of his disdain for his grandchild.

Captain Eriol was Hagen’s opposite in many ways. The youngest of captains and the youngest to ever lead a shipping faction Eriol had an open smile and easy manner that disguised a shrewd mind. The young captain’s dark hair and good looks earned him numerous fans from both genders a fact he subtly used to his advantage.

“Kurogane,” Eriol called pleasantly, “busy as always.”

Kurogane liked Eriol and approved his mild teasing of Syaoran, with Eriol’s flirting with an oblivious Sakura. But he only shrugged at the friendly captain his attention focused on Hagen.

Unconcerned with Kurogane’s antagonistic attitude Hagen’s eyes swept the shop looking for Fai. “Where is my grandson hiding,” he demanded.

Kurogane crossed his arms, giving Hagen a black look, he cut an imposing figure though the effect was marred some by the pie tin that one of Kurogane’s feet was standing in. “He’s working,” he grit out from behind clenched teeth.

Eriol who hadn’t witnessed the tension between Kurogane and Hagen before raised a curious eyebrow. Touya shook his head at Eriol forestalling his questions, “A private conference room has been reserved for your use for the evening,” Touya interrupted, gesturing to the back of the stop. “Syaoran’ll take you to your room.”

Eriol grinned at Syaoran who wore a sour expression, “Ah, Sakura,” he called, “you are a refreshing taste of spring among all this bitterness.” The girl gave Eriol a distracted smile and wave.

Hagen unwilling to take Touya’s hint without getting in the final word raised his voice to carry to the kitchen, “I expect Yuui to attend me shortly,” he ordered before sweeping ahead of Syaoran to the room they frequently used when meeting at the shop.

Eriol shook his head at his fellow captain spotting the Civet darting out of the kitchen and up to a customer who had visited the shop on numerous occasions to beg a bite of their fruit. “How are the Palm Civets working out,” he asked.

“Annoying. I should have known the witch got you involved in getting the damn things,” Kurogane said relaxing some now that Hagen was out of the room.

“Well I’m sure the Kopi Luwak will suit Hagen and Fei Wong very well,” he replied as he strolled away with his hands tucked in his pockets.

“Whatever,” Kurogane said as he signaled to Yukito that he was going to the kitchen.

He found Fai at a sink scouring a pan with ferocity the already spotless dish didn’t merit.

“You can ignore him,” Kurogane told Fai taking the pan from him.

Fai gave Kurogane a resigned smile, “You say that every time Kuro-chan.”

“Damn it. You moron. I’ll talk to Yuuko we can get your brother transferred here,” Kurogane offered.

Fai shook his head, “He’s not stable enough to survive the transfer and while I don’t like it my grandfather is providing the best medical care available. No magistrate would authorize a change in guardianship.”

“Humph,” Kurogane said, “I think you underestimate the witch’s influence.”

“I’ll talk to him after they’ve eaten. He’s usually less abrasive after a meal,” Fai said taking the pan from Kurogane to put away.

“I’ll go with you,” Kurogane said firmly. “Until then I’ll deal with Ashura and Fei Wong. That prick Fei Wong is going to find things to bitch about and I’m not going to make one of the kids deal with him.”

“So sweet,” Fai trilled as he danced away with a stack of clean dishes.

“Kurogane,” Seishiro cut in, “Fei Wong is here”

“I’ll be right there,” Kurogane said disgust already lacing his voice.

***

Kurogane’s night progressed with nothing more going wrong except a customer getting their fingers nipped after teasing Rose.

Fei Wong was his typical insufferable self, but no worse than normal. Ashura the last of the captains to arrive glided into the shop already focused on a proposal from Fei Wong to expand their shipping interests. The tall elegant captain of the Celes was popular on the gossip sites his dark brooding looks inspiring several saccharine stories speculating on what must be a tragic past.

Kurogane was staring to relax with only Fai’s delayed conversation with Hagen the only thing casting a pall over an otherwise successful night when yells and the sound of breaking dishes interrupted his serving of the captains’ meals.

“The fuck now?” he snapped stalking from the conference room. The three Civets who had been content to remain in the coffee fields were now chasing each other through the shop. Rose perched on her favorite climbing tree like a queen watching her compatriots running around like lunatics, coffee spilled onto the floor and customers alike, food scattered among the broken dishes.

“I was gone for five fucking minutes,” he yelled, “How the hell did they get in here?”

Fai who had left the safety of the kitchen to help corral the animals pushed his hair from his eyes a streak of chocolate on one cheek, “I think they used an access panel for the service vents,” said he breathlessly dashing after one the Civets giving a triumphant shout when he grabbed one. Passing the small animal to Tomoyo to secure in a wire cage with one of the other animals.”

“Epp,” Sakura squeaked covering her eyes and pointing at the branches overhead.

Kurogane gaped at the pair of Civets who were engaging in a display of vigorous mating, “This isn’t that kind of establishment,” he yelled at the animals.

“Dinner and a show,” Fai offered with a laugh.

“Get them out of here,” Kurogane ordered Tomoyo. Syaoran scrambling up the tree with a bag to catch the amorous pair. Kamui and Subaru ignoring everything in favor of watching for anyone who sought to use the chaos as a cover.

Sakura, her face bright red, hurried to help Fai clean up and placate the few customers who remained upset after having coffee spilled on their evening wear. Watanuki with Doumeki came out of the kitchen carrying trays with enough finely decorated slices of cake and the shop’s house special dessert coffee to treat the customers whose meals and coffees had been interrupted

Syaoran and Tomoyo managed to remove the Civets without the animals spraying or additional property damage. Seeing that Fai and Sakura had things under control Kurogane returned to the conference room ignoring Eriol who had followed him out of the room and was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

“Kurogane if I had known you were offering such bawdy shows I’d have brought Ruby with me,” he said wiping his eyes.

Kurogane flipped the still laughing captain off, “Is there anything else you need,” he asked his tone sounding more like a threat than a question.

Fei Wong gave him a dismissive wave continuing his plotting with Ashura.

“Yuui,” Hagen ordered.

“Right,” Kurogane ground out.

Stomping out the room Kurogane stalked into the kitchen bypassing Fai who was busily charming customers.

“Where are those things,” he demanded.

Yukito had taken over Fai’s dishwashing duties now that the number of new customers has declined to trickle looked up from his work, “Tomoyo and the Mokonas are taking three of them back to Misaki and now that Rose has been, uh, satisfied,” he said delicately, “she’s calmed right down and is sleeping in the break area.”

“Keep it back here or I swear I’ll send it out of an airlock,” Kurogane threatened.

Watching Fai from the kitchen doorway Kurogane’s lips were set in a firm line of displeasure. The idiot wore a pasted smile, his hair falling about his face the barrettes lost somewhere during the evening, his eyes a bright sapphire that did more to hide his emotions than reveal them, his faux smile and cheerful voice fooling nearly everyone. Kurogane knew there was a gifted mind behind the mask the idiot presented the world though he suspected Fai maintained the mask more out of habit now than need.

Shaking his head Kurogane moved to help Touya begin cleaning the counter the evening winding down to a close.

While he was working Fei Wong and Ashura left the conference room pausing long enough to settle their bill. The former looking like a cat who had got the cream and the later wearing a more restrained but still please expression.

Fai spotted the two captains leaving and when Eriol wandered out the room to chat with Sakura as she cleared tables he disengaged from a conversation with a three times widowed matron who was happily trying to get Fai to agree to join her for dinner the next day.

Without waiting for Kurogane Fai headed to the conference room adjusting his clothes and discreetly checking his face for remaining smudges.

“Fucking idiot,” Kurogane muttered following the blond only to be stopped by Tomoyo informing him the Civets had been delivered to Misaki who had promised to secure the service vents more securely.

“Damn vermin,” he complained.

Tomoyo disregarded Kurogane’s complaint in favor of sharing a bit of news she had discovered while out, “A little bird told me Ashura has expressed interest in Fai.”

Kurogane who had been about to walk away swung around to face the grinning girl, “What? They haven’t spoken all night and how did you find out anyway?”

“One of Hagen’s crew said that Ashura had inquired about formally courting Fai with Hagen at their last shared docking,” she told Kurogane.

“Why the hell would that piece of shit be interested him,” Kurogane asked his blood pressure increasing.

Tomoyo gave Kurogane an incredulous look at his ignorance, “Fai _IS _Hagen’s heir.”

“So,” Kurogane said, “he’s not interested in taking over for Hagen.”

Sighing Tomoyo shook her head, “How do you know? Have you asked him?”

Crossing his arms stubbornly Kurogane didn’t answer, “If the idiot wanted to take over a shipping fleet why is he working here?”

“You’re not usually this dense,” Tomoyo told him, “Would you want to keep working under Hagen and it’s not as though anyone else would risk Hagen’s ire by hiring him. Anyway, you don’t even want to stay here forever what makes you think Fai does?”

Kurogane didn’t have a good rebuttal so he ignored her in favor of heading to the conference room at a slower pace his mind chewing over her words, Rose trailing unnoticed behind him.

“You have too few talents to risk declining Ashura’s offer Yuui,” Hagen’s voice carrying beyond the open door of the conference room, “If Fai hadn’t sacrificed himself to save you things would be better, but I’m forced to make due with the little I have left in you.”

“How is he,” Fai inquired quietly.

“Don’t interrupt,” Hagen snapped, “and don’t change the subject. You will accept Ashura’s suit. God knows no one else is interested in you. I’d would have even been satisfied to marry you off to that conniving sycophant, Kyle, years ago if he would have had you. Ashura is a match beyond anything I thought possible.”

“I’ve hardly spoken to Ashura in the last two years that I’ve worked here. You know he’s only interested in taking over Velaria’s shipping contracts,” Fai pointed out deferentially.

Kurogane stepped into the room as Hagen sneered at his grandson, “I am aware, but at least this way I’ll know my people’s futures will be secure. Unlike what they would be under you.”

“I heard the Velaria lost a couple of valuable shipping contracts after Fai quit working with you,” Kurogane said an undercurrent of smugness in his voice.

Hagen narrowed his eyes at Kurogane, “Yuui,” he corrected, “he doesn’t deserve to honor his brother by taking his name.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Fai told Kurogane before he could lash out at the older man.

“I’m not going to marry Ashura,” he told Hagen with a firmness he rarely exhibited with his grandfather, “I’m your heir until you name someone else. Which you won’t do because you know I’m a damn good captain. My father made sure of that.”

“Don’t take that tone with me boy,” Hagen snarled, “My son-in-law may have been grooming you to take over, but you’ve been doing nothing but flitter away your time by playing here. I doubt you’ll have the discipline needed to run Velaria’s shipping operation.”

Kurogane clenched his hands resisting the urge to take his pent-up frustrations out of the repugnant captain. “_Fai_,” he said emphasizing the name, “I can always throw him out. The humiliation of being banned from here should cost him a few more of his contracts.”

Fai covered his laugh with a cough as Hagen spluttered angrily at Kurogane’s threat.

“That won’t be needed Kuro-sama,” he told Kurogane relaxing for the first time all evening.

Hagen seized on the endearment, “So that is the reason for your childish rebellion.”

“What? Kurogane has nothing to do with why I won’t fly under you or why I won’t accept Ashura’s suit,” Fai told him tension returning as though it never left.

Raising from his seat Hagen glowered at Fai, “You will report to the deck of the ship first thing tomorrow. I’ve indulged your frivolousness enough for one lifetime and you have squandered three.”

“I’m not going to be there,” Fai said with a small shake of his head, “At least tell me how Fai is doing?”

Hagen’s expression twisted hatefully, “He died several months ago. If you hadn’t been hiding away here, you’d know that. It’s a shame you couldn’t attend his memorial.”

Fai’s already fair face paled further as he slumped and would have sunk to the floor if Kurogane hadn’t caught him.

“GET OUT,” Kurogane roared.

Hagen’s eyes widened as he realized he had pushed Kurogane too far, “I’ll be having words with Yuuko,” he said as he backed up to the doorway.

“Do it, Kurogane warned, “the witch will ruin you if I don’t first.”

Hagen’s face flushed furiously, “Yuui, I won’t repeat my orders. You will be there willing or not.”

Fai looked at his grandfather tears staining his face, “No. If you try to force me, I’ll kill you,” he said his voice devoid of inflection.

Hagen paled and he whirled to rush from the room. Rose who had been agitatedly sitting in the doorway leapt at the enraged man contorting herself to spray his eyes. Hagen howled pawing at his face and Kurogane grinned wickedly, “Take him to his ship,” he told Kamui who had been hovering outside.

Kamui grimaced at the smell, but Subaru mirrored Kurogane’s grin, “I believe the lift is broken we’ll have to take the long way to the docks,” he told Kurogane as he led the still hollering man away.

“Between the customers still here and everyone they’ll pass on their way Hagen’s reputation is going to be destroyed without us having to lift a finger,” Fai told Kurogane before he lost his fight against his grief and began to weep.

Kurogane scooped him up, cradling Fai protectively as he carried him to the relative privacy of the kitchen.

Kurogane was well acquainted with grief and didn’t offer any platitudes. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Fai, while Fai curled in his lap, his face buried against Kurogane’s shoulder. Kurogane reached up to run a hand through Fai’s hair his fingers carefully removing tangles, stroking Fai while he mourned.

Rose crept up to the two men and climbed onto the chair to nuzzle Fai.

“You did good today, rat,” Kurogane quietly praised.

Hearing the words Fai began to giggle, then laugh through his tears. Years of repressed emotion and grief spilling from him like an infected wound that had been lanced. Kurogane kept up his steady petting while Fai soaked his shirt.

Kurogane and Fai were still sitting there after the others had gone home. Fai’s tears had ended a while ago, but he continued to cling to Kurogane.

“Thank you,” Fai whispered finally.

“Che,” Kurogane said, “shut up.”

Fai gave a final soft giggle, “Kuro-daddy is such tsundere.”

“Stop calling me that,” Kurogane said quietly briefly tightening his arm around Fai.

Wiping at his face Fai sat up turning to straddle Kurogane’s lap, “But you are such a good daddy,” he said his voice inviting.

Kurogane wrapped his fingers in Fai’s hair and tugged, “I’m not your Daddy,” he said lust tinting his words.

“Mmm, you’re not,” Fai purred, tilting his head to expose the long line of his throat.

Kurogane leaned back to study his companion, “You sure you want this now,” he asked.

“Kuro-chan,” Fai said exasperatedly, “I have had one the worst nights of my life. I have been flirting with you for months. If you don’t fuck me, I’m going to strip and fuck myself.”

Nipping at Fai’s neck, “I’d like to see that,” Kurogane murmured his tongue darting out to sooth the mark he had left, “But not today.”

The sound of pans falling shouldn’t have been surprising, but the two men startled hurrying over to find Rose sitting in the middle of a pile of spilled pastries blinking at them innocently.

***

Epilogue:

It had taken over a month for Kurogane to get another roaster for the shop and longer still before Yuuko had been able to blackmail Fuuma into preparing the beans.

Kurogane, Fai, Syaoran, Sakura, and the white Mokona gathered around the counter and stared dubiously at the several cups of Kopi Luwak Fuuma had lined up, “Well who’s going to try it,” he taunted.

Fai nudged a cup toward Kurogane “I think Kuro-chan should try it. He is our leader.”

Kurogane glared at Fai before taking a drink, “Huh, it’s not bad,” he declared.

That was high praise from Kurogane, and the others followed his example taking large drinks from their cups. Fai’s nose curled in disgust while Syaoran quickly reached out to stop Sakura from taking a drink.

“Mommy,” Mokona whined to Fai, “Daddy is mean.”

Kurogane grinned smugly at their reactions while dumping his cup into the sink. “You know Eriol was right,” he mused.

“What do you mean,” Sakura asked giving her cup a tentative sniff.

“He said this coffee would suit Hagen and Fei Wong,” he explained.

Fai looked up thoughtfully, “I can see that. It tasted like petrified dinosaur dropping steeped in dirty bathwater." Fai said with a grin, “Yuuko was right too. Our more pretentious customers will love it.”

~the end.

** Author's Note**: The title and Fai's final line are blatantly stolen from this article on Wikipedia: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_luwak>

**Thank you for reading! How did I do?**

_Please score my fic according to these guidelines:_

  1. How in-character was this fic? (1-10)
  2. How well did this fic handle the prompt? (1-10)
  3. How well did this fic fit their team’s theme? (1-10)
  4. How much did you enjoy this fic overall? (1-10)
  5. Was the my fic tagged correctly (Yes or No)

Remember that you must provide some form of identification (a link to a blog or profile on another site will suffice) for your vote to be counted


End file.
